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Why men spend so much time in the Loo!

Why men spend so much time in the loo is still a mystery to me!

My Dad could disappear in there for what seemed like hours; he would emerge with the Herald under his arm and an understanding of what had been happening in the world.

He took time to think! Meditation perhaps?

My eldest son is just the same. He has Dad’s brains.

Personally, I get in, do what I have too and get the hell out of there.

This clip is fun! If you have similar experiences let me know.

Get your pipes checked…. I did!

November is Men’s Health Month and my reminder came in the mail:

“It’s time to get your pipes checked again,” said the friendly letter from my Colorectal surgeon. It spelled out the process; the fasting, the preparation, the costs, the procedure on the day, what to expect afterwards, the discomfort but most of all…….. the benefit!

So on Sunday, I began the preparation for a colonoscopy on Monday. After a healthy and hearty breakfast on Sunday morning, it was a time of fasting. No food! Then, from early afternoon into the evening I had to take not 1, not 2, but 3 doses of fairly unpleasant medicine that would clean my internal pipes so the surgeon could put his camera through them.

Now all this makes sense to a 54 year old male and father of 3 healthy and happy sons, whose father after being diagnosed with Prostate cancer passed away a few years ago.

So, I hear you ask, why is your plumber telling you this? If your body is a temple and mine is, and your home is your castle then it’s appropriate to get your pipes checked, especially if your castle has a history of problems or blockages in your sewer pipes.

There are many parallels between a Colonoscopy and a Drainoscopy.

To get a Drainoscopy is easy!

We clear your pipes and then put a specialized drain camera through the pipes to find out what is actually going on in there. Then we take the vision and put it on our YouTube channel with a description of what is going on in the pipes. You can see it, you can share it, you can get a second opinion, you can evaluate the information and understand exactly what is going on underground or in your pipes.

Yes, it is a little uncomfortable. But now I know that after Dr “L” has treated 2 areas of interest and checked my prostate, my pipes are in good condition. I’ve seen the pictures. And at the appropriate time, he will send me a reminder for my next Drainoscopy er… Colonoscopy.

So to end on a high note watch this fun YouTube clip.

S_ _ T Happens. Short Guide to Comparative Religions

Every now and then, things come across my desk that I must share, and those of you who follow the Lone Drainer and Pronto blog know that S_ _T is something that, well  it happens.

At Christmas, this is a tongue in cheek twist on “our subject”:

Taoism                         S _ _ t happens.

Buddhism                     If S _ _t happens, it’s not really S _ _t.

Islam                           If S_ _t happens, it’s the will of Allah.

Protestantism              S _ _t happens because you don’t work hard enough.

Judaism                      Why does S _ _t always happen to us?

Hinduism                    This S_ _t happened before.

Catholicism                 S _ _t happens because you’re bad.

Hare Krishna              S _ _t happens rama rama.

T.V Evangelism           Send more S _ _t.

Atheism                       No S _ _t.

Jehovah’s Witness      Knock knock, S_ _t happens.

Hedonism                   There’s nothing like a good S _ _t happening.

Christian Science        S _ _t happens in your mind.

Agnosticism                Maybe S _ _t happens, maybe it doesn’t.

Existentialism              What is S _ _t anyway?

Stoicism                     This S _ _t doesn’t bother me.

Rastafarianism            Let’s smoke this S _ _t.

https://www.thelonedrainerandpronto.com.au/blocked-drains.html

A Sign of the Times?

A Picture paints a thousand words. We really enjoyed these photos, and hope you will as well….

Antimimeticisomorphism-Stoolbus

Antimimeticisomorphism-Political Promises

https://www.thelonedrainerandpronto.com.au

 

S_ _t Happens. The Most Functional English Word

Well, it’s s_ _t. That’s right, s_ _t! S_ _t may just be the most functional word in the English language.

You can smoke s_ _t, buy s_ _t, sell s_ _t, lose s_ _t, find s_ _t, forget s_ _t, and tell others to eat s_ _t.

Some people know their s_ _t, while others can’t tell the difference between s_ _t and shineola.

There are lucky s_ _ts, dumb s_ _ts, and crazy s_ _ts. There is bull s_ _t, horse s_ _t, and chicken s_ _t.

You can throw s_ _t, sling s_ _t, catch s_ _t, shoot the s_ _t, or duck when the s_ _t hits the fan.

You can give a s_ _t or serve s_ _t on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep s_ _t or be happier than a pig in s_ _t.

Some days are colder than s_ _t, some days are hotter than s_ _t, and some days are just plain s_ _tty.

Some music sounds like s_ _t, things can look like s_ _t, and there are times when you feel like s_ _t.

You can have too much s_ _t, not enough s_ _t, the right s_ _t, the wrong s_ _t or a lot of weird s_ _t.

You can carry s_ _t, have a mountain of s_ _t, or find yourself up s_ _t creek without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to s_ _t and other times you fall in a bucket of s_ _t and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it’s the basic building block of the English language.

And remember, once you know your s_ _t, you don’t need to know anything else!!

You could pass this along, if you give a s_ _t; or not do so if you don’t give a s_ _t!

Well, s_ _t, it’s time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a s_ _t and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of s_ _t. But, if you happened to catch a load of s_ _t from some s_ _t head………..

Well, S_ _t Happens!!!

Actually SHIFT HAPPENS and if you don’t SHIFT, you’ll be in a lot of s_ _t!

https://www.thelonedrainerandpronto.com.au/index.php

George Bush Toilets

The reign of US President George W Bush has come to an end, but as this piece of urinal art proves, when it comes to “Dubya”, many people will never grow tired of taking the piss….

presidential_urinal_1

The creator of this fantastic piece is a subscriber to “toilet humour“. His bathroom creations are unbelievable; I will soon share with you some of his other works.

And for all you plumbers, imagine clearing a blocked drain in the outlet of this urinal; be careful now!

www.TheLoneDrainerAndPronto.com.au

 

Toilet Humour

A toilet is a plumbing fixture and disposal system primarily intended for the disposal of bodily wastes: urine and faecal matter. Additionally, vomit and menstrual waste is sometimes disposed in toilets in western societies.

The word “toilet” can be used to refer to the fixture itself or to the room containing the fixture, especially in British English. In Canadian English, the latter is euphemistically called a washroom, and in American English, a restroom or bathroom. The latter term usually refers to a room that also contains a bath tub. A room with only a toilet and a sink is sometimes called a half-bathroom or a powder room.

There are two basic types of toilets: the dry toilet, and the wet toilet – the latter being the most commonly known and producer of blackwater. The dry toilet needs no plumbing for water input or evacuation, but is often coupled with some ventilation system.

Humour

Humour or humor (see American and British English spelling differences) is the tendency of particular cognitive experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement. Many theories exist about what humour is and what social function it serves. People of all ages and cultures respond to humour. The majority of people are able to be amused, to laugh or smile at something funny, and thus they are considered to have a “sense of humour.”

When attending to blocked drains we sometimes encounter “Toilet Humour”!

www.TheLoneDrainerAndPronto.com.au

 

Use only Genuine Pipes! for Plumbing

Today’s post is courtesy of  Dr Marc Dussault. Check him out at:

 http://www.ExponentialPrograms.com/business/blog

Piping Specifications

Mr. Santa Singh is a brilliant engineer of College of Engineering Patiala and Mr. Banta Singh is his boss and a gold medalist of Jalandhar University. Both of them are serving for Punjab Pipes whose owner is Ms. Gurujit Kaur. In one of the tenders Mr. Santa Singh has declared the pipe specifications.
Prepared by: SANTA SINGH     Approved by: BANTA SINGH

1. All pipes are to be made of a long hole surrounded by metal or plastic centered around the hole.
2. All pipes are to be hollow throughout the entire length – do not use holes of different length to the pipe.
3. The ID (Inside Diameter) of all pipes must not exceed the OD (Outside Diameter) – otherwise the hole will be on the outside.
4. All pipes are to be supplied with nothing in the hole, so that water, steam or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.
5. All pipes should be supplied without rust; this can be more readily applied at the job site.
NOTE: Some vendors are now able to supply pre-rusted pipes. If available in your area, this product is recommended, as it will save a great deal of time at the job site.
6. All pipes over 500 ft (150 m) in length should have the words “LONG PIPE” clearly painted on each side at the end, so that the contractor knows it’s a long pipe.
7. Pipes over 2 miles (3.2 km) in length must also have the words “LONG PIPE” painted in the middle, so the contractor wouldn’t have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine whether or not it is a long pipe or a short pipe.
8. All pipes over 6 ft (1.83 m) in diameter must have the words “LARGE PIPE” painted on them, so the contractor will not mistake it for small pipe.
9. Flanges must be used on all pipe. Flanges must have holes for bolts, quite separate from the big hole in the middle.
10. When ordering 90 or 30 degree elbows, be sure to specify left-hand or right-hand, otherwise you will end up going the wrong way.
11. Be sure to specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or downhill pipe. If you use downhill pipes for going uphill, the water will flow the wrong way.
12. All couplings should have either right-hand or left-hand threads, but do not mix the threads otherwise, as the coupling is being screwed on one pipe, it is being unscrewed from the other.
13.All pipes shorter than 1/8 in (3 mm) are very uneconomical in use, requiring many joints. They are generally known as washers.
14. Joints in pipes for piping water must be water-tight. Those in pipes for compressed air, however, need only be air-tight.
15. Lengths of pipes may be welded or soldered together. This method is not recommended for concrete or earthenware pipes.
16. Other commodities are often confused with pipes. These include: conduit, tube, tunnel and drain. Use only genuine pipes!